This past weekend, I went up to Anson County to visit my Aunt and the rest of my “up there” family. I had a great time, as I always do. This trip held the added adventure of going to Carowinds with my cousins, and if you didn’t see my facebook photo of the Intimidator, let me just tell you that it is HUGE and I rode it TWICE. With my eyes closed, yes, but the point is, I got on the darn thing. TWICE. Muhahahahaha.

But that adventure is not the one I will remember the longest, I think. There was a another, much smaller but very significant thing that happened there. Aunt worked on Saturday, and I was there at the house alone. I was out on the porch, writing in my journal that morning, and for the very first time in my life, I heard the sound a hummingbird makes when it hovers. I seriously never knew why they were called hummingbirds until this weekend. And that made me realize how very much I dislike living around people and the noise they make.

See, Aunt’s house sits at the end of a driveway that’s about a half a mile long and curves through the woods. My cousins driveway is even longer, and her house overlooks a lake. And I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to live in a place like that, and hear the sounds of nature every day, where the sound of a car is an exception and not the norm.

The thing is, I like the low country. I’m a flat lander. I like to visit the rolling hills and an occasion glimpse of mountain is nice, but I prefer to live where it’s flat. Which brings me to that Charleston realtor. See, Charleston is flat but I am sure there are areas near there that are secluded and quiet, the kinds of places where you can hear hummingbirds, and the kinds of houses that have big porches where you can sit and knit and drink coffee while you drink in all those wonderful natural sights and sounds.

There, I said the worst thing first. I mean, I try to roll with the punches, and I have been known to let fly an expletive or two, but I rarely get told “don’t be a dick”, and it has certainly never happened repeatedly. Before I had even finished my first cup of coffee. But I will say this: after I got past the language he was using, I took more notes on Merlin’s keynote address than I took on any other session at IEAfest. He was phenomenol!

I had read on his blog just before i was left that he planned to change his focus over at 43 Folders, and so I was very curious which side of the change his presentation would most represent. He came down squarely on the new side, which is about getting your very best work out there. Every day, he said, you should write. You should write about your passion, and explain it to just one person whom you respect. And don’t be a dick stinker. And get better.

He also recommended a couple of books thatI do plan to get and read: On Writing by Stephen King and The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharpe. And ya’ll, the man is hilarious. In spite of the potty moth. He’s just funny.

As for the rest of Saturday, it was informative, and I learned several things about design, and some great plugins, many of which I have already started using. And then there was this:

I cleaned up as best I could in the sink after the hunt. the shirt I was wearing was a complete loss, and I am still waiting for a replacement to arrive. Hard to believe that I was able to get back to some semblance of normality with just water, and paper towels, isn’t?

I can’t believe how different I look in this picture with Marisa and Christine.

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I totally should have known that those of you who would answer would be interested in the [tag]boobs[/tag] and the [tag]penis cream[/tag]. Not that I think my friends are perverted or anything. But anyway. *cough* Let’s talk about last [tag]Thursday[/tag]!

Here’s a little photo collage:

Yeah, I know there are repeats on there. That’s what happens when you have to scrape pictures of yourself off flickr. FTR, I took the one of the three of us in the mirror (did you guess that since the camera is in front of my face?) [tag]Christine[/tag] of starrysky.org took the one of me dancing, and [tag]Drew[/tag] of benspark.com took one or two as well. (Thanks guys for sharing!)

So, anyway, Thursday. Got up at the butt crack of dawn to catch my plane, and arrived in [tag]Orlando [/tag]around 11am. Marisa was due in shortly, and so I went to her gate to meet her. (That kinda felt funny, because it has been SEVEN YEARS since I was able to meet someone at their gate, because of the added security.) [tag]Marisa[/tag] is so charming and so much fun, and as a bonus, we can look each other right in the eye. She is in the black and white shirt in the collage above. Can you see her hair? I was gushing over it within 2 minutes of laying eyes on her. Seriously, it looks like one of those poodle perms from back in the day, but it is all natural, and so soft! And so smooth! And so healthy looking! Truly amazing from one curl gurl to another. And so I asked her what in the world she used on it. And her brown eyes started sparkling and dancing, and she said “Organic Rooooot StimuLATOR Lock and Twist Gel”, and I giggled a bit, and said, “that sounds like something I get emails about”, and thus the penis cream joke was born. And let me tell you, I used some of that stuff while we were freshening up for the party, and that penis cream of Marisa’s is some awesome, awesome stuff. I have FOR-EVER had trouble with back-o-da-head frizz, and this stuff curled me right up, as you can see. Love it. I’ll be going to Sally’s forthwith to get some penis cream of my own. 😀

Oh, yeah. Also represented in the mirror is Colleen of simplekindoflife.com. You know, I was intimidated to meet her last year, and was delighted to find that she is just as open and helpful as anything. It was great seeing her again this year, and I took great delight in letting everyone know that I was sleeping with [tag]Colleen[/tag]. HA! She did not use the penis cream, as she wears her do straight. But she did admire it’s effects, LOL!

Ok, so, then you see some pictures of a party. And boy, was it a party. That Ted Murphy, he does know how to lay it on. The drink was free flowing, the buffet was good, and I had to stay standing up so I wouldn’t just sit there and eat. It was great to see Pete and Scott (in the dancing pic) and Trevor again, and to meet Veronique and chat with her for a bit. Later in the weekend, I got to meet [tag]Scott[/tag]’s wife Rachael and [tag]Pete[/tag]’s NEW wife Meagan, and also Ted’s lady Tara. That was fun for me to get to see another facet of their IRL selves, ykwim? And about that dancing? It was the only [tag]dancing[/tag] I did all weekend, unless you count the 15 seconds on the chair Saturday night. Sigh. And to think I packed three pairs of [tag]high heels[/tag] just so I could dance! But he dipped me, and I’d never done that before, LOL!

Also pictured above is Deb, who I didn’t get to spend nearly enough time with, and also Heather from beautiful BC, whose blog I cannot find 😐

Oh, I almost forgot the boob thing. I had stapled a business card to my dress for a name tag, and someone who may wish not to be named asked me why I was trying to make people read my boobs. And that is the Thursday night report.

Always, always, always keep a simple project going, one that requires no counting or thought. Always, always, always keep it close at hand. Yes, I am repeating this, because I tend to forget it, and then when I do have a simple project close at hand, I rocket through it, and I am amazed at how much gets done as I sit here and talk to my children about their school work. Seriously! It’s a lot of stitching time, at least 2.5 hours a day, often more. I don’t think I’d get any more done on vacation, because I would be distracted by the going and the seeing and the doing. Not that I would turn down a free Seville Hotels Destinia vakay or anything. Cheap hotel bookings are a thrill whether I get to stitch or not! Just sayin’

Fantasy vacations aside, I really think there will be an FO to show you on Friday. And even if it’s not an FO, I might show it to you anyway, because I can. I also have a book to tell you about!

And now a question. Is it acceptable to put Crisco on my son’s face? I only ask because that football helpmet is so hard to get on and off! maybe I will let the other son lick it off, since he’s supposed to gain 10 pounds by Saturday. Hahaha. Hahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahah. *continue hysterical laughter*

HEY! HEY! We could do a lipo-transfer! Muhahahahahaha *continue evil laughter*

My family is laughing at me. They are going so far as to point whilst they do it. They find the current state of my hair incredible amusing. Let me show you, and since I know you are on my side, I will just ask if this looks funny to you.

You can be honest. I am not afraid to embrace a little jab at my own expense. But if you do think it’s funny, then I am not taking you to London. I’m not taking you to London, anyway, but the threat sounded good 😉

I’m not taking you, because I am not going, but if I were, I’d probably be checking out London Destinia Hotels and I would specifically be looking at the Hotel Park Plaza Sherlock Holmes. I mean, come on! How cool would that be? I wonder of they have mystery nights, ykwim? Dirges in te background, flickering candle-light and clues to follow. It would be a riot!

The other cool thing about hotel bookings with Destinia is the deferred payment option. That’s pretty slick to be able to tie up your hotel room without also tying up all your money!

You know, there are days when I wish I could do something, that I had a certain skill set. Not always the same set, mind you, but different things. Like one day, I might wish I could draw. Or quill. Or ride a motorcycle. Motorcycle? Motorcycle! I know how to ride on one as a passenger, but not how to work the controls. But today, I wish I could, because today, I found out about EagleRider and their Motorcycle Tours.

EagleRider sells bikes, don’t get me wring, but they also rent them so that you can take yourself on guided or self-driven tours. And ya’ll, I just about wigged out when I saw that they have locations in Europe and the British Isles. And Australia. And not just for motorcycles! They offer ATVs, snowmobiles and watercraft.

See, here’s the deal. My dad, he can drive a motorcycle. My mom hates the bike, it scares her. My husband can’t drive a motorcycle because he has a VP shunt. Do you think they would mind if I asked them to keep the kiddos while Daddy and I went to Ireland for my birthday? Yeah, I didn’t think so either, but it was a nice 90 second fantasy, ykwim? They do, however, have a store in Myrtle Beach, and that’s not quite as far a stretch.

Do you remember that I went to Vegas last fall. Of course you do, how could anyone possibly forget that *I went to Vegas*. I blogged some about it here, and quite a bit about it on my other blog, but I am pretty sure I mentioned seeing not-Toby, not-Elvis and even not-Michael there in the casino of my hotel. (Hotel seems such a pitifully small word to describe the lodgings in las Vegas. Each one is like it’s own resort, a self contained eating/sleeping/playing facility.) The performers looked like they were having fun, though who knows how they really felt. It was fun to watch them dealing and then singing a quick set, any way.

I also saw not-Cher. Man, she was beautiful in that gold lame dress and that long black curly hair. I kid you not, she was the first one I saw, and it took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on, yk? I was reminded of her when I read today that Cher is actually playing Vegas later this year. Not not-Cher, but the real deal. That’s right, you can get Cher tickets at Caesar’s Palace Las Vegas!

I guess I am showing my age, but I really do prefer her earlier music. That wildness on Half Breed, and that warm fuzzy loving thing she had with Sonny in I Got You, Babe. Defining songs of the era, I think. Yep, I can still sing the one and hum the other, but I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which. I will admit to dancing through the kitchen this afternoon belting out It’s in His Kiss. Don’t tell the kids–it really embarrasses them when I do that, ykwim?

I realized I kinda left a lot of stuff out of that last post, and I thought I might try to round it out just a bit. When I re-read it, I was left hanging, and not only did I write the post, but I;m the one living the life, so if I am scratching my head, something needs to be clarified for sure!

Ya’ll. I am tired. No. I am not tired. I am just two hairs short of weary, and there is a world of difference. Tired means resting will fix it. Weary means I need to get away from the press of life. There is nowhere to go, though, and I …. it’s just been a constant assault these past few months, and just when I think things are coming a bit more under control, I get blind-sided again. Like, for instance, I had planned to basically take this weekend off and pamper myself just a little bit. Read, play with the kids, talk to dh about something besides what’s for dinner, and then this afternoon, I realized I have to write lesson plans. Not just the plug-in-the-new-math-book plans, that I was expecting, but entire multi-subject plans. Not quite the “light shopping and general relaxation” I had envisioned.

Ya know… if I were a rich woman, I would book myself on a Flight to Australia, and I would hire a guide (paying him extra to be quiet), and I would go on walkabout. With a new camera. And lots and lots of sunscreen. I would go for the weekend and only sleep on the planes there and back.

Instead, I will go to the grocery store, write the plans, and maybe, just maybe squeeze in an extra five minutes in the shower. But I tell you this, if my mama says “Let’s go to town”, I am dropping what I am doing and going to town.