Archive for the 'Giggling' Category

Merlin Mann has potty mouth

Merlin Mann
Image via Wikipedia

There, I said the worst thing first. I mean, I try to roll with the punches, and I have been known to let fly an expletive or two, but I rarely get told “don’t be a dick”, and it has certainly never happened repeatedly. Before I had even finished my first cup of coffee. But I will say this: after I got past the language he was using, I took more notes on Merlin’s keynote address than I took on any other session at IEAfest. He was phenomenol!

I had read on his blog just before i was left that he planned to change his focus over at 43 Folders, and so I was very curious which side of the change his presentation would most represent. He came down squarely on the new side, which is about getting your very best work out there. Every day, he said, you should write. You should write about your passion, and explain it to just one person whom you respect. And don’t be a dick stinker. And get better.

He also recommended a couple of books thatI do plan to get and read: On Writing by Stephen King and The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharpe. And ya’ll, the man is hilarious. In spite of the potty moth. He’s just funny.

As for the rest of Saturday, it was informative, and I learned several things about design, and some great plugins, many of which I have already started using. And then there was this:

huntcollage

I cleaned up as best I could in the sink after the hunt. the shirt I was wearing was a complete loss, and I am still waiting for a replacement to arrive. Hard to believe that I was able to get back to some semblance of normality with just water, and paper towels, isn’t?

afterhunt

I can’t believe how different I look in this picture with Marisa and Christine.

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Check out this video!

Ok, I do have lots more Orlando stuff to talk about, and I also need to rave some more about Marisa and my now amazing hair and the t-shirt I ordered today, and I want to talk about a few other things to, SO! There’s just no way I can do all that in one post, or even two. Go get coffee, LOL!

What I want to talk about this very minute is diapers. And contests. And videos. And my amazing hair. Wait, that’s later. Sorry.

Have you ever felt like this “dad”?

Yeah, I know it’s a little out there, and I’ve never had a kid quite this “good”, I do still chuckle when I remember my first born son peeing in his own face when he was a couple of days old. I also laugh at dh when I recall that he has been peed on by all three of our boys, but none of them ever peed on me. So there. Anyway, the point of the video is to let you know about a contest where the prize is free diapers and wipes. If you will visit the Huggies contest, you will have the chance to tell your own funny diaper story and win coupons for free diapers. I like free, so I figured you might, too. And about that coffee? Don’t be trying to drink it while you read the entries. Just sayin’

Haha, I slay me

This one is a freebie. I’m sharing it because I think some of you may enjoy it ;) Of course, I could be wrong. I might not be funny to anybody but me.

A real short stool

quality barstools 2001 55917I made something the other day, and I thought you’d get a kick out of hearing about it. Now most people, not being crafty like me, when they need new Bar Stools, go and pick out a nice stool like the one on the left, and they take it home or have it shipped, and they are quite happy. At least, that is what most people who are relatively normal would do.

But not me. You knew that was coming, didn’t you? I made my own bar stool the other night, and it was a very short stool, which might have been ok, since I am short, except that I made it completely by mistake. Let me share with you how to do it, in case you are interested.

First, inherit the dining room set that your husband ate at as a child. Heavy maple, if possible.

Second, begin to use it while you are a family of 5, and continue to use it for three meals a day until you are a family of ten.

Third, let one of your children get grown and leave home. (This step may be omitted, but it adds to the poignancy of the whole thing, don’t you think?)

Fourth, cook, on an otherwise ordinary evening, a delightful meal for your family. The better the food is, the more hilarious your trick will be. But bear in mind that you won’t be hearing the compliments so it should be something they have raved about before.

Fifth, serve the plates, walk to your place and lift up on your chair to slide it out so you can sit down and eat with your lovely, large, loud family.

Sixth, gape (with open mouth) at the sixty year old chair back when it detaches from the seat and you hold it in mid-air.

Seventh, and most important if you hope to maintain a shred of dignity, declare you wanted to eat at your desk anyway, and walk away looking smug.

Costume Party??!!??

IMG 0515Every year, my folks (read Daddy) throw a big party for July 4th. It’s huge. Really. We are the guests, LOL! They grill hot dogs and hamburgers and fill up a couple of pools for the kids, and we all have a great time. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the kids look forward to it from one year to the next. In fact, here is a picture I took of Drama yesterday. You will note the bathing suit and the water toys, right? It was, according to my trusty calendar, only the 16th of June. She put on this get up when my mom arrived with the butter beans (see below), and declared herself ready for the party. She stood there forever, ya’ll, holding those toys wearing that bathing suit, “ready to go”. We had to take hourly laugh-at-Drama breaks.

12337But to the point of this post, which you can see from the title is costumes, I saw this Uncle Sam costume this evening, and I though how the kids would get a big kick out of seeing Daddy dressed up like this. See, he’s very tall, and quite thin, and he could carry this suit off perfectly! I can almost hear them asking Mama where Daddy is, while “Uncle Sam” stands there grilling good things to eat, smirking.

Of course, then I had to look at some other costumes, too, since we have lots of birthdays, and they have costume and party supply packages, which make themed parties so easy! I could totally see Diva rocking that 70s metallic swirl jumpsuit, yk? Shhh. Don’t tell her about it. She’s had a party for the past several years, and this year, we’re keeping it real low-key, with just a movie. Besides, we all have to hurry up and get our swim suits on for the big party at my parents. It’s only 18 days away!

Labels

I found out something new today. I love learning new stuff. This wasn’t even knitting stuff and it’s pretty cool! Those labels on foods? I always assumed they were done in-house, at the same factories that make the food. That’s not true! Companies like Label World specialize in Food Labels, and they make them to client specifications. I guess I should have known that, given that I have worked before in manufacturing, but it just never clicked before.

Hmm, I wonder if yarn companies……… I bet they don’t because you can’t print on a spinning wheel, now can you?

Things We’ve Said

Ok, I have been collecting little tidbits of humor for a while now, and I think this post is finally long enough to share. Try to imagaine the circumstances as you read the words, because if I took the time to lay the scene for you, it would suck the funny right out. Some of you may recognize some of them. Laugh again, anyway.

“Do not thump my breasts. These are the breasts of life.” Spoken to Batman on April 30, 2007
~~~
Words from Drama May 2007: “I love you back. This is a boogie from my ear.” Now I am sure to her, the two were not part of the same conversation, but since she said them one right after the other, it was pretty hilarious to me.
~~~
“I have a red mold (mole) on my ear.” This tidbit brought to you by Stuntman, from way up in a tree.
~~~
So, Batman just looked at me and said, “I’ll screw you!” After I picked my jaw up off the desk (and man did it hurt when it hit), I noticed he had the control to my griddle, and was going “zzttt, zzzttt”. So, ok, in the fist of a 6 year old, it does look amazingly like an electric screwdriver.
~~~
My boys informed me that they had named their collective bits “Aunt Dorothy”. And also, their butts are “Chuck”.
~~~
POTS!! When given as a parental directive, it means “stop and back up.” Accompanied by “pans”, it means “stop and take a nap”.
~~~
Diva: the symbol for males has an arrow because their brains have left the planet.
~~~
“I can jog to Wal-Mart!”, says Spidey. Because if you get new shoes and those new shoes happen to be “Vans”…… you can use your vans to go to Wal-Mart. See?

Because Hot Wheels Pajamas are cool

And every little princess should have a pair.

IMG 0194

Don’t you think so? Yep, that’s Drama–see the long hair?

Not to be confused with Batman.
Batman Drama

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