Comments on: Success!

By: Ann

Ann — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 16:08:04 +0000

I believe sometimes the guilty feelings come from us not being all-powerful to help someone. We have limits, and we hate those limits. We want to stretch beyond them and when we really just can’t, we feel guilty. We also feel powerless, ambushed, and as if we’re held prisoner by the circumstances we can no longer control. If there was just some way to break free!

There is, and I know that Cass and Nellie both know the freedom comes from laying it all at the throne of God. Let Him bring you peace and comfort, and use this time to love on Grandmother in a way you never could when you were caring for her daily needs.

By: Nellie

Nellie — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 02:28:41 +0000

Why do we feel guilty, when we both know all was done by each of us that could be done.

By: Cass

Cass — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 01:48:46 +0000

Oh, I see them. I am wiping the matching ones on my own face. See, I feel like I have let the *both* of you down. And I know there is no more I could do. Sigh.

By: Nellie

Nellie — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 01:44:19 +0000

This comment is for the reader’s of your blog, who have expressed concern. Thank you for caring.

I was relieved only because I didn’t have to say “I can’t do it anymore ,you have to go to a nursing facility.” I know Mother needs the care that is available in a good facility, but it breaks my heart that I can no longer care for her, Yes, she was a burden, she cramped my life—But I knew she didn’t stay wet or in poop, I know she had good care at my house. She was warm or more covers were used, she could stay in bed as long as she wanted in the morning and still get her breakfast. I was glad to do what I did and wish that I could continue, but my physical statue will not let me and common sense tells me this is the best solution. Her kidneys are only functioning at 12%, this affects her mind, as well as some of the pain meds she was on. Not that she was unruly, just asking for people that have been dead for years or confusing me with others. Ex. she looks at me Sat. and says where are my children..I tell her my name and point to my brother and tell her who he is.and tell her the others have gone on. I am not sure if she knew who she was talking to but before I left the facility this afternoon she said “Thank you for being so good to me.” I say “You think I was good to you” she says, “Yes, I do, you were.”
If you look real close with your heart, you can probably see my river of tears.

By: Carla

Carla — Wed, 22 Mar 2006 12:32:51 +0000

oh no, I didn’t think at all that you slammed your mom I just know its a very difficult situation, when you know what is needed to be done, but no one wants to do it.

By: Ann

Ann — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 21:59:02 +0000

Cass, my love and prayers are toward you, your grandmother, and your mom. I know how difficult this decision is, and the fact that the dr. actually made it doesn’t make it really a lot easier. However, it’s needful in some cases in order for the loved one to receive good care AND the family to be able to remain healthy as well. My Mama took care of my Daddy at home through Alzheimers and it nearly killed her. There’s only so much a tiny woman can do when caring for a tall man who can’t do anything for himself.

Love and hugs to you all.

By: Cass

Cass — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 18:09:59 +0000

Yes, S.H.E. is where I got the idea. And Lord, knows, I am surely sidetracked. The thing I like about the cards is that if stuff comes up, it’s easier for me to get back on track.

Oh, I didn’t mean to slam my mom at all, and I hope that it did not come across that way. I think…she knew it was needful, but could not make herself do it. And I just have a real problem when families stuff healthy elderly folks in homes because it makes life more convenient for them. This is not a matter of my mother’s convenience at all. It’s a matter of Grandmother’s safety. I know that, and yet it still breaks my heart.

Just last week, she had to call DH over there to get Grandmother out of the floor, ykwim? And it’s not like I can pull on her, either. And really can’t be much help at all, since I am here with my own children. Grandmother could come here, of course, some days–IF she was mobile enough and strong enough that getting from Mama’s, to the car, out of the car and into my house didn’t call for a 12 hour nap to recover. Sigh. It’s just…………well, it is what it is, and there are really not any words to describe it.

By: Carla

Carla — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 17:56:14 +0000

Few things..first choring.
I have a copy of “Sidetracked Home Executives”, the old old version that uses the card system. Have you read it?
There is also a WAHM that develops a yearly planner for WAHMS that is somewhat simlar to the S.H.E. system….can’t remember her url though! I got the link from Theresa at LTK..perhaps she remembers.

On your grandma (and Cass’ Mama..I know you’ll read this too) This is always a very difficult situation. VERY difficult, and almost every family has to face it (if they don’t they are extremely lucky) Our family had to deal with a decision like this about my grandfather (who had alzheimers, and had progressed to the stage where it just wasn’t safe for him to remain at home…without the cost of round the clock-PROFESSIONAL, home care) So *hugs* to everyone involved.