Success!
The children did all their individual work yesterday, including that for which they need my help. Ditto today. What did not happen is my read-aloud stuff that I do with all of them. I need to pull it together, which I plan to do this week-end. I have forgotten how I had that all organized, LOL. I’ll either figure it out, or spend a bit of time this week-end getting it back together.
Knitting yesterday: not a stitch. DD#5 was a ravenous oinker, so did not get put down much. I suppose she’s in another growth spurt. It seems that one day she eats, and the next day she sleeps. If she sleeps today, I’ll knit. I did try DS#3’s sweater on him, and the neck is too tight. I’ll have to take that bind-off and part of the shoulder seams out, and loosen it.
DD#3 has built a huge “fort” in the living room, using every spare sheet and blanket from the kid’s rooms. Looks like fun!
I think I am going to go back to a 3×5 card system for my choring. That worked for me for a long time, and so we’ll try it again. Maybe. I just find that I can no longer keep in my head all that needs doing, and having a choring schedule helps me spread the work out a bit better, as well as making sure nothing slips through the cracks. Like, umm, school paperwork (oops!).
I’ve sent the boys to clean their room. I can tell by the sounds that they are working in a spirit of friendliness and cooperation–NOT!
Ok, time to get up from here and do some things 
OH! Almost forgot. My mom called this morning, and the doc is sending Grandmother to a nursing home for re-hab. Twenty days to start. It’s not the one here in our small town, but rather about 30 minutes away. He’ll still be her doctor that way, which is good, but…….I doubt I can get out there very often. I also doubt that she will ever leave that place. My mom seemed relieved. She can’t lift Grandmother when she falls, which is becoming more and more frequent. She can’t lift her into the wheelchair on days Grandmother can’t walk. But could also not resign herself to put Grandmother in a home. The doctor ordering it makes that easier for her. In my mind, the effect is the same, and I am very disappointed it has come to this. But I am not the one trying to care for someone who is so……..the way Grandmother is.
Well, that’s not true. I do care for people like her. But they don’t weigh 128 pounds, and they are getting “better”.
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Few things..first choring.
I have a copy of “Sidetracked Home Executives”, the old old version that uses the card system. Have you read it?
There is also a WAHM that develops a yearly planner for WAHMS that is somewhat simlar to the S.H.E. system….can’t remember her url though! I got the link from Theresa at LTK..perhaps she remembers.
On your grandma (and Cass’ Mama..I know you’ll read this too) This is always a very difficult situation. VERY difficult, and almost every family has to face it (if they don’t they are extremely lucky) Our family had to deal with a decision like this about my grandfather (who had alzheimers, and had progressed to the stage where it just wasn’t safe for him to remain at home…without the cost of round the clock-PROFESSIONAL, home care) So *hugs* to everyone involved.
Yes, S.H.E. is where I got the idea. And Lord, knows, I am surely sidetracked. The thing I like about the cards is that if stuff comes up, it’s easier for me to get back on track.
Oh, I didn’t mean to slam my mom at all, and I hope that it did not come across that way. I think…she knew it was needful, but could not make herself do it. And I just have a real problem when families stuff healthy elderly folks in homes because it makes life more convenient for them. This is not a matter of my mother’s convenience at all. It’s a matter of Grandmother’s safety. I know that, and yet it still breaks my heart.
Just last week, she had to call DH over there to get Grandmother out of the floor, ykwim? And it’s not like I can pull on her, either. And really can’t be much help at all, since I am here with my own children. Grandmother could come here, of course, some days–IF she was mobile enough and strong enough that getting from Mama’s, to the car, out of the car and into my house didn’t call for a 12 hour nap to recover. Sigh. It’s just…………well, it is what it is, and there are really not any words to describe it.
Cass, my love and prayers are toward you, your grandmother, and your mom. I know how difficult this decision is, and the fact that the dr. actually made it doesn’t make it really a lot easier. However, it’s needful in some cases in order for the loved one to receive good care AND the family to be able to remain healthy as well. My Mama took care of my Daddy at home through Alzheimers and it nearly killed her. There’s only so much a tiny woman can do when caring for a tall man who can’t do anything for himself.
Love and hugs to you all.
oh no, I didn’t think at all that you slammed your mom
I just know its a very difficult situation, when you know what is needed to be done, but no one wants to do it.
This comment is for the reader’s of your blog, who have expressed concern. Thank you for caring.
I was relieved only because I didn’t have to say “I can’t do it anymore ,you have to go to a nursing facility.” I know Mother needs the care that is available in a good facility, but it breaks my heart that I can no longer care for her, Yes, she was a burden, she cramped my life—But I knew she didn’t stay wet or in poop, I know she had good care at my house. She was warm or more covers were used, she could stay in bed as long as she wanted in the morning and still get her breakfast. I was glad to do what I did and wish that I could continue, but my physical statue will not let me and common sense tells me this is the best solution. Her kidneys are only functioning at 12%, this affects her mind, as well as some of the pain meds she was on. Not that she was unruly, just asking for people that have been dead for years or confusing me with others. Ex. she looks at me Sat. and says where are my children..I tell her my name and point to my brother and tell her who he is.and tell her the others have gone on. I am not sure if she knew who she was talking to but before I left the facility this afternoon she said “Thank you for being so good to me.” I say “You think I was good to you” she says, “Yes, I do, you were.”
If you look real close with your heart, you can probably see my river of tears.
Oh, I see them. I am wiping the matching ones on my own face. See, I feel like I have let the *both* of you down. And I know there is no more I could do. Sigh.
Why do we feel guilty, when we both know all was done by each of us that could be done.
I believe sometimes the guilty feelings come from us not being all-powerful to help someone. We have limits, and we hate those limits. We want to stretch beyond them and when we really just can’t, we feel guilty. We also feel powerless, ambushed, and as if we’re held prisoner by the circumstances we can no longer control. If there was just some way to break free!
There is, and I know that Cass and Nellie both know the freedom comes from laying it all at the throne of God. Let Him bring you peace and comfort, and use this time to love on Grandmother in a way you never could when you were caring for her daily needs.